sophia

Sophia

what a pair we make in this room you and i

under the hum of artificial lights

you so stubborn and silent

& me with all my questions

standing above you dressed and ready

a decade too late

see, you are already dead

and by the looks of things it has been your situation for sometime now

i cannot save you from yourself and your prison

anymore than you can save me from mine

no, i suppose i did not expect to really see you

tell me, did you expect to see me?

An undoctor whose physics notes contain more poetry than science

a godless child with a trembling soul

someone who can be found chasing refractions of light

up mountain sides, down dim hallways, & through old text books

following the footsteps of someone else from long ago

already gone from here

i had no choice but to go through you

please understand my road travels through this ritual of mingling with the dead

between you and i

i thought the sight of you would frighten me

the smell of your limbs would weaken me

under the weight of my nights

consumed by biology and chemistry I thought about you

worrying you would be the one to stop me

the hurdle I would not be able to over come

but here with you i am somehow a different person altogether

yes, I am sure you can relate to that

i am not worried for myself any longer

i worry for you

i think it a fate worse than nakedness of skin

your nakedness of bone, already torn and worn

ravaged by invasive curiosities of those who came before me

they touch parts of you, you never saw, wandering to places

your lovers never sought to find

you know vultures gather around carcasses?

yes, i suppose you do

somehow i knew you would be a woman

but i did not know you would be so small

so still

have you been told that with you there is a hush to life?

no, i guess not- but there is

tell me, death; is it really nothing?

does your soul rest in a heaven somewhere while your body continues to work?

or do you linger here like me in these hallways of formaldehyde?

wait, don’t answer that one

how are we doing; not so bad right?

i find it amazing that a hand with so little experience and much to do

quite easily pulls the heart from your body

don’t worry i will put it back where I found it

whatever i do learn & take away from this it disturbs me

I will never know your name

no, you are not what I expected to find

somehow more and less at the same time

more than another i have touched

i see you past gangrenous toes & chest pain

beyond the loss of a child & a thing we don’t discuss

more than all those who behind curtains waited for us to come

on into the nights and mornings of their lives

the less? that’s easy, less frightening

oh-yes, i agree; we are done here

10/29/02 Cadaver Lab