big-littles

I am sitting in the parent bleachers wondering if the t-shirt I am in is cut too low to be wearing at work when I hear the woman behind me says, "Oh my gosh! Look how little she is!" 

I pause attempting to discern if by chance that they are looking at the same small child I am. 

"Wow." The other one exclaims. "Look at that. She is so good." 

The first woman speaks again, "She can't be more than 9 or 10." 

I look over my shoulder trace their view to the floor. Sure thing, they seem to be watching the same kid I am- mine. 

"How many hours do you think they are here?" 

"I'm sure too many." 

I silently agree; today it seems like too many and I want to take Beach home.

"Wow! Did you see that? She just does all those flips."

"Look that one too!"

"How old do you think she is?" 

"10 or 11?"

I sit and listen to them talking about the girls most of it stemming from harmless morbid curiosity. They make assumptions and take stabs in the dark about the girls and their lives. And about their parents. 

I listen and the only thing I can think to say to them wouldn't make any sense. 

We don't eat dinner most nights because we are at the gym. We don't take vacations, we go on travel meets and pretend it is the same thing. We don't stay up late even on weekends. We don't swim anymore in the afternoons. We really don't get to ski. We do hair and buy leos. We listen to floor music. We buy tape, we ice, we pack "breaks", we hang medals on overloaded pegboards, and we send them off at gymnast's check in tables often without a proper good-bye/good luck because they can see their coaches across the room. 

And none of this matters because what we do and don't do is so small in comparison to the size of their drive & passion.  

It's the start of a new session for the recreation side of the program. These mom don't know I work here. Not until one of the head coaches walks below the second floor balcony and waves up to me. And not until the hour is drawing to a close and the regulars start to file by. Each one stopping to say hello.  

They say things like: "getting to watch for a change?", "not working today?", "Beach looks so great", "I love watching your little girl".

The moms are quiet for a few minutes then I feel a tap on my shoulder. "We've been up here watching....so which one is yours?"

I look out across the gym to the team girls finishing Monday basics condition. "Kind of all of them but mine is the little blond in the black & white leo; that little one right there." I point. 

From a distance Beach does look very small.

"Oh my gosh! We have been watching her. She is so good! How old is she?"

"Beach is 11. She turns 12 in October." 

"How long has she been doing this?"

"About 6 years. She started in the recreation program but moved very quickly into the competition track- she was 6 and a half."

~6 years? 

It seems like we have been doing this forever.