chasing the sun

The Alturas Lake Camping Crew: Fisher, Beach, BC, and Land.  These were are eclipse chasers.  BC and Beach drove up from Utah. Land drove in from Montana. They met up with Fisher who was already at Smiley Creek, Idaho.  Fish is up there working for the 2nd summer in a row. 

All these pics are off the iPhone.  I had Beach send me her favorite.  What I love about that is we get to see the trip 100% from her point of view. 

 You can see what matters the most to her.  In these photos I can see how much she adores her older brother and how much she loves her dad.  While they were gone I had a vast stretch of silence to think in.  I had moments of coming face to face with my past.  What I know is BC and I have done something really right here- with her, with us, with them.

 Late last night I was on the phone with Conner when there was a knock at my front door.  I asked him to stay on the phone with me while I checked it out.  I crept down the stairs.  Through the glass of the front door was the most perfect picture: Beach and BC standing on the front porch.  Locked out and wanting back in, they had drove home a day early.

I wish I could have seen Land.  I would love to get to walk beside him again. All I can hope is that this trip reminds him of the other possibilities out there.  I know the math is complex.  To meet up it would require 2 people with commitment issue, 2 people who question the stability of BC's master plans, to both be brave & ditch our jobs at the same time.  This weekend's win went to Land.

 This crazy crew watched the total eclipse from the zone of totality together.

While I watched moon shadows dance like aspen leaves in the wind on the stones of the fire pit in our yard.  For the first half I sat on the phone with Sarah each of us bathing in our own view of the strange light.  The second half of the eclipse, I spent in my own silence.

 Life is about choices.  Life is about experiences. 

What I missed and what I gained this weekend should equal out in the end. 

 After their late night surprise-mom-return, after the remains of the cooler was put away, and after they both showered we laid down in our bed together.  This is us, Beach between us, all legs and sharp points.

After she left from her own bed BC pulled me in tight. 

He held me in a way he hasn't in long time. 

 Holding onto me as if he thought we would never see each other again. As if he was seeing me through the light of a past sun.  As if he believed in me in a way he had forgotten to do a long time ago. I wonder what part Land had to play in that.

 The difference between chasing the moon and the sun is,

when you chase the sun you catch it.

"Sometimes I look a the Moon, and I imagine that those darker spots are caverns, cities, islands, and the places that shine are those where the sea catches the light of the sun like the glass of a mirror..." ~Umberto Eco