Prepared dinner for tonight; an elk roast in a rich red tomato jalapeno broth with seeping garlic and heavy tones of black pepper, a side of creamy mashed potatoes for Beach and BC, and a dryish smashed yam for myself, green salad.
For dessert, a peanut butter brownie pie made with the following substitutions and/or additions: apple sauce, greek yogurt, oatmeal, and hand mashed black beans.
I have emptied and loaded the dishwasher twice, cleaned out the fridge, vacuumed three rooms, sorted the bills, trimmed and rearranged the flowers, fed the dogs and the cats, swept the mudroom, took out the trash, cleaned one of the two bathrooms, put a hundred things back where they go... and now that I think about it before doing all that I made breakfast, cleaned it up, and worked out.
The one thing I did not do was run Beach to work, BC did because he had extra time this morning.
While abandoning his coffee mug in the middle of the kitchen BC asked what the occasion was for all the work I was doing. Well, it's Thursday...
The special occasion is this is our one and only life.
I do most of these things or things like them every day that I can. These are some of the last days for our little family to be together as we are now. They are also some of the first days on the next adventure for each of us.
Beach is 16. The closer she gets to a decision about her future in gymnastics the closer I see the end of this life and the start of something new. Where and what that looks like I don't know.
All of her siblings are out on their own. Each took a different path. The talk of colleges beyond the idea of gymnastics is only now beginning. Driver's Education which had been on hold is now scheduled.
We have two years before she graduates from high school. But two years?! That's not very long in the heart of a mother.
I am laying down the final pieces of a road that has taken us from where we began to where we are now. A road that she will branch from to take out to the world beyond. A road I want to make so wide and open and strong that she will always be able to find it again. No matter where she goes.
Some of it I am repaving. The return of nightly desserts, family game night, and a family read-aloud novel. Projects and Nova. Thoughts of spring camping and summer hikes. Complex plans for the garden. Our life as it was when they were all little. Life slow and predictable. Well, as predictable as life can be with BC. Some of the stones are new. Adventures in Art and Fashion, a wild muddy Cowdog, and a woodshop with a big idea.
The smell of clean laundry, the memories of healthy homemade food, all the colors of the dishes put neatly away, and the sounds of childhood on newly swept floors. There is a lot to do. There is a lot that won't get done. Dinners will burn, pies will not turn out but the love inside the work, inside the hours and the days that's what matters. The making of a home with open doors and sleeping cats.
Every day is a special occasion.
Every day there is a reason to live your life as big as you can.
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| Grandpa and Grandma Brown |
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