Tuesday, February 21, 2017

forty-four

Traditionally, on my birthday I take a moment to look back.  However, this year I am only looking forward.  I blame the ski pass.  Forty-four, go big or go home!


Little Dog and me after going out on the J trail together 3 days in a row.
Two middle aged ladies working on their fitness ;)


Friday, February 17, 2017

a family thing


There are only a few good excuses for missing a day of gym- especially during meet season. Being dead or having a family thing are the 2 best reasons.
Soooooo, Beach had a family thing today.


Look at that smile!!!


Trying ski yoga just like dad.



 Clearly she is her mother's child ;)

lights, camera, action!

 Yep.  That is exactly what it looks like: Beach giving an on camera interview about gymnastics & her visual issues. A local production company is creating a series of 7 minute documentaries about people overcoming obstacles to follow their dreams.  


Being interviewed on camera kind of sucks.  I watched Beach struggle.  She was a good sport despite being extremely nervous!!!

It was interesting though to see what questions she struggled with and which she could answer easily.  She was great when she talked about gymnastics and she would completely light up when she talked about photography.  The question she couldn't answer? "What makes you cool?"  She never really was able to answer it.


Then it was my turn.  Oh boy, I don't think I said anything right but we will see how it turns out. Hopefully all of the filming with me in it will end up on the edit room floor. I told BC at least I didn't answer any of the questions with "world peace?"  


 The guys were awesome to work with which is good because there is still more filming to do.  We are excited to see how this all turns out. 

The selfie Beach sent out to her gym mates on the way to the gym
"Ready for my interview!"


cutting corners BC style


BC has decided the vaulted ceiling in the great room should be rounded... of course he did.  He is a master carpenter why settle for corners if you don't have to.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

to the black and back

A long time ago I made a decision about the kind of mom I would be. 

I made it at a time before I understood the importance of making such a choice for me and for my kids- and even for their kids.


It was as if I looked blindly into the future and somehow saw this slow good-bye coming and took a stand in the dark.


I have been a parent for nearly 27 years.  I still don't know if it is best to eat dessert before, with, or after dinner.  I don't know if you should pay your kids to do chores or if chores are just a part of belonging to a family.  I don't know if I believe in homework, or after school jobs, or know the right age to begin to date.


The part I am sure of, the core of who I am as a mother orbits around a conversation I had with a nurse when I was a 17 year old child holding my 2 pound 7 ounce baby in the NICU. 


If you are choosing to keep this baby from a 2 parent home, choosing to raise her, then you owe to her and to the parents who won't be getting her to do it right.... she does not belong to you, you will belong to her. 

And thanks to that nurse whose name I have long forgotten, I have never seen my job as a mother any other way. 


I raise my children to grow up and leave me.  I raise my kids to live their lives no matter what that means.  I expect them to follow their hearts and do what makes them happy.  It has nothing to do with me.


As I watch my son gather his young family preparing to move them across the country I have to remind myself this is proof that I have kept my end of the bargain.

Of course no one wants them to go.  No one wants to watch Baby's J little face disappear through the window.  But this is their life and their adventure. 


At 17 I signed up for this job knowing only one thing: that the hardest parts of parenting would be the moments when you have to let them go....it happens everyday in little ways.  Them tying their shoes and closing classroom doors. The bicycle seat slipping from your hand as they peddle away on their own. College, marriage, and moving...


23 years ago this month I kissed Conner's tiny little face and promised to always take care of him.  Inside that promise were all the tears of this good-bye. Conner, I love you to the black and back. I even love you all the way to Florida.  


Monday, February 13, 2017

now reading: Ruined

Praise for Ruined

“With this haunting love letter to New Orleans, Morris makes her YA debut....This moody tale thoroughly embraces the rich history, occult lore, and complex issues of race, ethnicity, class, and culture... turning the city into a character in its own right. Rather than shy away from the shameful or tragic moments of the past, Morris uses them to capture the city’s essence.” —Publishers Weekly, starred review