from here

From here, there is nothing to do. I sit with my laptop open to the Pike's Peak Meet Results. Under the banner of the host gym it reads: waiting for scores.

You and me both, buddy, I scoff.

This is a King Solomon moment. Scores don't mean anything. They don't tell me what or how she is doing. Scores only say how the judges, who don't know her, think she is doing on this particular morning, on this one split second chance, in a blink of an eye. 

I would trade all the scores I will eventually get for some real information. Beach has been competing since level 3. This will be the 2nd meet I have missed- both over money :C

Before Beach is done competing I will be taking Baby J to 'dan-astics'.  Unlike Beach, she will let me hold her hand through the parking lot. Unlike Beach, she will look for me.

From here, I try not to worry about the details, about food, about rest, about nerves, about fear, about the emotional & social winds of a flock of 14-15 year old girls. Beach is heartbreakingly silent when she is gone. I have to not take that personally.

Yesterday, the only information I received was from a teammate still in town who told me about a snap chat that put Beach with 2 other mates driving from Denver to Colorado Springs in the head coach's car, then one 3 second phone call when they were at the Broadmoor checking in, and a goodnight text to her dad's phone after hours of nothing.

I knew this moment would suck for me.  All I can do is hope that it doesn't suck for her. She is with her people.  She's in good hands.  She has everything she needs.  So we're all just waiting for scores....

Meet Hair Pike's Peak 2018