sunlight through my fingers

Yesterday was a shit show.  A shit show on a stale cracker.  

A day so messed up it can rarely occur so it's important to not let it go before wringing out the hidden drops of beauty inside it. 

I learned my grandma passed away.

My son's truck broke down.  Meaning my day watching Little J was going to run late and my plans to go to the gym (my gym) had to be canceled.



BC left a gate open and the dogs got out.

My daughter's car was hit (& run) in a parking lot.

I was talked into buying McD's for lunch by a 4-year-old who was then not in the mood for chicken and wanted me to make pizza.

Beach's back went out and she had to miss practice.

BC lost his wallet.  His jobs ran late so he missed getting to the bank again leaving me cashless. 

I couldn't get Fair Photos to the printers.

Ants in the laundry room.


I hung up on BC.

And then I was called into work.

Looking back I see the sunlight and hear Little J laughing, the water splashing, the dog jumping.  

I see Little J's other grandma, Nana, despite having her own long day smiling, standing at her back door as I handed her a sleepy Little J so I could get to work.  I see the gym moms and my coworkers laughing through it with me. 

When I rushed out the door to work my yard was picked up and raked, the house was clean, laundry done, a chocolate zucchini cake for dessert cooling on the counter, and dinner set to pop in the oven.     

And I only put Little J's swimsuit on her backward once.

Today doesn't look any less complicated. 

 I have Little J all day again.  I have photos to get to the printer, a kid to get to gym or the chiropractor or both, homeschooling to be done, a gym date for myself and the request that I work tonight to lessen the crazy of the first week of a new session.  

So much for getting days off in trade for working weekends.

I also have a mystery: I have a blog post Words Across The Water that has gone viral for a lack of a better term but I can't figure out how or even why.  

And there is one more thing I have today I didn't yesterday... last night as I was dreaming in the chaos of dreamlife. I saw my sister.  I want to remember this, I told myself so I reached out and grabbed her arm.  I held on to it for as long as I could.  

Hold on to all of it.  

The phone calls, the texts, the distractions, the craziness, the dogs, topless markers, lidless glue sticks, tiny socks, the sticky smell of pancakes, the sunlight, the splashing, the whole whirlwind of life- shit show on a stale cracker and all.

Grab ahold of it and don't let go.