Sunday, September 1, 2019

little giants

If it were up to me she would have played the cello.
She would have gone to school; Montessori I believe. 
Her hair would always be in a prim shoulder-length bob.
She would have colored neatly between the lines every time and rocked a school uniform.
And most importantly of all, she would have played soccer.

Aren't we glad it's not up to me? At least those of us who are blessed enough to know Beach.

A gifted photographer. An artist. A compassionate leader who leads by example and kindness. A friend. A justice seeker. An animal lover. A think outside the box style. Smart. Funny.

And a gymnast. 

If it was up to me my child would NEVER dismount the Beam.  I tell her all the time when you are done with your routine just stop and tell the judges that your mom doesn't like you running full sprint on a 4" wide piece wood and punching as hard as you can so you can flip through the air. Then climb down nicely and salute. 

Of course, it's not up to me.

I mean, I guess it could be.  I could stop driving her to practice and stop paying the bills.  I could force her into a box that isn't her size. I could break her dreams and ignore her passions. I could tell her she isn't good enough as herself that she should strive to be something and someone else. I could tell her she is a victim rather than a warrior.  

I could fold to the pressure of the dark wave that is bringing pollution and garbage into the harbor. 

I could make her a peripheral victim of the scandals rocking the gymnastics world by taking from her the tools she is using to forge her future. 

That is what the haters are doing. They are NOT making the sport safer. There are ways to do that. Positive and honest ways.

In fact, I will say that the woman I encountered online yesterday was attempting to use other people's children for her own purposes. She was attempting to victimize my child. She took a post that when you boil it down is about how parents need to not push their kids because gymnastics is hard and scary without their help and she tried to twist it to fit into her campaign of anger. 

I'm not about that.

I don't post about abusive coaches or some larger culture of cruelty because that has not been our experience with this sport. Trust me I was shocked too. My initial response to my child doing gymnastics was "over my dead body."


I write what I know.  I write about what is in front of me. The only behavior you are truly in charge of is your own. 


I am a mom. And yes, the darkest thing I have encountered (up until that woman) is badly behaved parents. This is where I can create positive change in this sport- within my own people. Within myself.


I have worked hard to make sure my child is in a safe environment. I won't apologize for that but I will take a lot of credit for it... and twenty extra pounds from skipping my own workouts to sit on a wooden bench making sure that I knew and understood the program and the people in my daughter's world.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize I am always at my child's gym. I was there so much they finally hired me to work the front desk.


If it was up to me no one would ever judge my child. My daughter would never fall, never get hurt, never know pain. 

Knowing that's not how the world works, I am grateful that she spends most of her time in a space where the judging is at least fair and the whole place is padded.

Last weekend we visited an interactive art installation Dreamscapes. The first room was an escape room.  In a room full of adults all strangers where no one else was brave enough to even try Beach was the one willing to risk making mistakes so we could all move forward.

She was the one who set us all free.

This is our story.  These are our Little Giants. They are not normal children.  They have chosen a tough road with lots of work and lots of lessons.  Gymnastics is a big book so don't try to throw it at them. There are a lot of stories out there. This one is ours. If it helps you and you liked it, share it. If you have a different story, tell your own. 

1 comment:

  1. She's an amazing young woman. You're an amazing mom. It's hard to step back and let kids forge their own way. Believe me, I know - because I suck at it. You have much to be proud of.

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