Nedra

She sends me letters.  

They seem to come every month or so.  Little notes, sayings, and lessons. Small thoughtful gifts like tea towels on holidays. 

I open every one of them.  I read them.  I like them.

I take the letters to my mother.  

I show her the thoughtful sayings and positive lessons and practical gifts.  She shares them with her friends and they share them with theirs. 

I never tell Nedra thank you because I don't know her. I've never met Nedra and she's never met me.  

I am guessing she is my Visiting Teacher.  A woman from the local church, or ward as it called in the LDS church, assigned to touch base with me. 

She drew the short straw if you ask me.  You might say I am an ex sheep- extremely ex. 

As far as I can remember living here these letters have come.

Last month she included a questionnaire of 80 questions to ask a family member.  Beach and I carried it with us for a week pulling it out, asking and answering the questions.  

How clever this is, I told my mom over the phone. When we get through it I will give it to you.  You'll like this.  It's really neat.   

This month it was 3 different cards printed on bright shiny papers with the collective message about being present with your loved ones vs. buying presents.

I read my favorite one to BC and he smiled agreeing.  I set them aside to take to my mother.    

I never tell Nedra anything.

Nedra keeps believing in the dark that she is making a difference.  Nedra is right, she is.  Each time she sends me a letter she mails me a tiny piece of belief.  

A belief in kindness and bravery.   

It's been a long time since I have sent out a Christmas card but this year I do have one to send. 

Dear Nedra, Merry Christmas...   

to those coming up behind us

I look at that photo and I count; 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. 

Seven girls gone from that 2016-17 Season (lv 8-10) alone.  Of course, there are more missing than that. 

You can't spend 9 years somewhere and think nothing will change.  Nine years and no one will grow up.

This isn't Neverland it's gymnastics. 

Maybe too much has changed for her since the start.  Maybe the pain has made her tired.  The isolation dimming the light. Maybe she is still willing to go on- maybe not.


To Those Coming Up Behind Us, a little piece of advice. Enjoy the journey, the moments in between performances and placements.  

Let them be little in the elevators and big on the stages. Say yes, say no. Sleep in, stay up late, take the back roads.  Don't apologize for letting her choose.  

This time for them is so short.  It may not seem like it as you wait for a plane, or awards, or for a word with the coach. But it's a blink.

In the end, they will all walk away from this part of their lives. Their medals and ribbons will stay in a box somewhere.  They will be forgotten. 

The life lessons and experiences are what they will carry with them. 

Life is an adventure.  There are many roads to travel.  Gymnastics is only one of them.  

Soft Landing Meet 2019-20 Season GTC lv 9-10 team

Right now she is looking for a sign to know which way to go.

Soft Landing 2019

The Level 9 and 10's of GTC

The first Meet of the 2020 season is in the books! We are so proud of all the girls <3 As planned Beach scratched 3 out of 4 events but she vaulted! I have no idea what will happen next but it was wonderful seeing her out there again. 

baby steps

We have answers. 

 It has taken this long to sort it all out and for me to feel confident enough to write about it.  

Beach is cleared for Season and today she will compete as a Level 10 (that could change based on her needs) at a pre-season soft landing meet for Vault only.  

It's not a big vault.  It doesn't have a 10 start value but it's a vault!!!! 

I had actually scoffed when I was told she had been entered in this early December Meet. I truly thought there was no way she would be ready to do anything. 

And here we are on a Meet morning with an athlete who has shown up for full practices every day for 7 months; conditioning and slowly gaining back skills.  She attended camps and clinics.  Broke her thumb and keep going.  Through pain and frustration, loneliness and fear.

Today she will vault in a meet. Baby steps. 

Honestly, I wasn't sure I would ever see her compete again.

What we know is she has lumbarization of the spine.  A fancy way to say her S1 vertebra is acting more like a L6 than a S1.  Instead of fusing into the sacrum it stands partially unfused with a clear disc between it and the S2.  

It's not uncommon but it is not exactly normal either. It's going to cause her pain whether or not she is doing gymnastics. 

And 3-4 doctors asked to read the x-ray noted a pars fracture in the S1/L6.  

To be positive a CT with spec was ordered but a good second (and third) opinion pointed us away from unnecessary imaging and towards PT unless other concerns develop. The issue isn't bone- it's soft tissue based on the anatomy presented.  

The "cure" is knowledge, strength, and flexibility. 

As soon as we knew that compression fractures were not an issue and that the area to focus treatment on was the SI joint we saw improvements in Beach.  

The Chiropractor was able to give her an adjustment that seemed to help her more than any others.  

The PT at Recharge gave her some great stretched and also was able to help with her mobility with muscle fascia release. 

Within the week she was seeing increased flexibility and less fear that the nagging pain is a sign of something dangerous. 

She is still in pain.  She has a long way to go.  But today is step one.  And step one is Vault.  It's not how she wanted her first steps on the Level 10 stage to be but this sport... the numbers say nothing.

Good luck to all the Little Giants and gymnasts from our sister gyms competing today! 

Don't forget to have fun. Enjoy this amazing moment <3