in the land of many things

I am never the one who goes.

But under the circumstances... the new dog that we are pretending is BC's and not mine or Beach's. And the family of skunks out at the chicken coop reenacting the march of the Israelites around Jericho. I went for the beer.

Phoneless, no wallet, a wad of cash balled up in my pocket- the change from the adoption fee.

When I walked into the store it was full. Busy; nightfall wants, nightfall "needs".

I followed a man down the first aisle towards the coolers.  I had to stop and wait as he snatched up a bottle of juice with a yellow minion head on it.  He moved to the next frosty door and grabbed a gold and teal striped can of tea. At the next cooler doors, he got himself out a beer. He startled when he saw me standing behind him. He recovered quickly, smiled and walked towards the front of the store leaving me alone at the back at the wall of cold beer.

I grabbed a 6-pack and was starting for the front when I heard it.  I'm not entirely sure what it was.  Men. Angry men quickly followed by the sharp sound of a taser.

I froze. More men.  Angrier men. Maybe the taser again. A lot of accusations. A lot of denials. A case of threats.

I remember inching forward.  Staring at the shelves of treats and listening.  Cookies $1.79. Pringles $2.19. A box of crackers $4.89. More shouting the words starting to tell a story.  A theft, a robbery, maybe only a shoplifter. That's when I had inched far enough up the rows of shelves to see her.  8 years old standing beside her mother by the counter. Their exit blocked by the shouting, struggling men.

"Sweetheart," I whispered," come with me. Let's get out of the way." She followed me down the aisle pausing halfway down remembering her mother.  She called back to her in Spanish and the mother holding her own 6-pack of beer followed us.

I led them to the back of the store. Stopped before the large metal door marked Employees Only. It was the entrance to the cooler that ran behind the long row of refrigerated shelves.

"If we need to we can go in here," I told them pointing at the door.  They both nodded.

"I'm really scared," the girl said looking me straight in the eyes.

The men's voices and threats constant.  The suspect towering over the clerks who attempted to keep him contained near the front doors. I waited for them to spill outside but they didn't.

And they weren't going to. Slowly I came to understand the whole store was in lockdown. One of the clerks had triggered an alarm that locked the doors caging all of us together. We were trapped inside with this man.  A goldfish bowl with a rat in it. What a stupid fucking idea that was.

There were 3 clerks all on their phones calling out. I waited. We all waited while the man thrashed around.

I was trying to figure it out. Trying to decide if I might later regret not being afraid.

So we wait for the police now, I thought.

Then I remembered the response time and lackluster the SLC PD shows our westside neighborhood and our calls for help... remembered the words of the SLC officer who was too afraid to help the night BC was assaulted trying protecting a young girl who had been beaten badly by our neighbor's "house guest". Remembered how all 10 officers fully armed in vests refused to even approach the man as he stood in the grass hurling threats at any and everyone. The closed internal review.  The failure to come when called.

I realized no one was coming at least not soon. I turned all the attention I could spare to the little girl.

"Oh, you don't have to be scared.  We're fine," I smiled down at her.  She was standing closer to me than her mother. "He's having a bad night.  We will just stay out the way until it is over."

I started talking to her. Asked her about the candy in her hand. Learned her dad and little sister were out in the car waiting for them. She was new to Utah.  Moved here in April from Catalina Island, California.  She had never been in a 7/11 before. As I tried to chat calmly I thought of BC a half a block away. Knowing he must already be wondering what was taking so long. I thought about my phone charging on Beach's bed.

I inched towards the front to get a look at what was going on. It was that fire drill type moment; is this really dangerous?  Should I set down my beer?  Should I send the little girl and her mother into the cooler to hide? I hadn't meant for her too but the girl followed me peeking out from behind the burnt coffee in steaming crafts still waiting to be sold.

The man was pacing and yelling.  He was big and he covered ground quickly. Moving in jerky unpredictable ways. The clerks moving around his ever-shifting radius. A row of large men, other customers, stood back watching. They lined the counter.  They too were trapped.  Their indifference to the scene unfolding only confused matters more.  Did they think it was too dangerous to step in or was more complex than that, more political, more divided that right and wrong?

Minutes passed as I stood watching and listening and making small talk with the girl. I told her about our new dog, about the chickens and the family of dancing skunks. The little girl's mom who had also followed me towards the front let out a gasp as a man appeared outside the doors. She muttered something in Spanish.

The man was not alone.  There were a lot of people at the doors outside wanting in.  Not knowing what was going on.  Beside the man an even smaller girl dressed in pink.  The little girl's little sister.

He stared in looking beyond the crowd of men to his wife and daughter clinging to my side. His looked confused, then confusion faded and he looked alarmed.

Suddenly everything shifted and the man started in our direction. We had crept too far out of our hiding spot. For the first time he saw us; the women.  He saw the little girl.  Easy targets. I felt like I could see him trying to decide.

I hurried the little girl and her mom back down the aisle towards the cooler door.  The taser ripped loudly and the man reversed course moving away from us.

"Stay here for a second, okay?" I told the little girl.
"I'm scared," she repeated.
"He doesn't care about us. We are doing great staying out of the way.  This is almost over." I lied and I promised.

I inched up the aisle again until I could see the doors.  What happened next was fast.  Justin, one of the off duty clerks and an ex-marine appeared outside the doors. After calling the police the clerks had called for someone who would actually help.

The clerks fumbled a bit until they were able to disarm the alarm and open the doors.

Justin blew in the man tried to run from him heading in my direction.  He only made it a few steps before Justin had complete control of him.  The men who had sat by watching poured out the store carrying away their purchases.

Seeing the chance I rushed the little girl and her mom along the back wall directing them towards the open doors. And they were gone.

Justin dragged the man behind the counter and into a back room. There was a lot of noise.

And what is normal? I approached the counter. Put down my beer. Handed the clerk a $20.  He shook as he gave me back my change. The man was yelling. Justin was yelling back but in a much more controlled tone.

I shoved the change in my pocket, picked up my beer, and walked out the open doors.

As I was getting in my car the man, his wife, and his 2 daughters pulled in beside me and thanked me for helping them.

A half-hour later BC strolled over to the store to thank Justin for what he had done.  I checked the police call logs from last night.  It took the police over an hour to respond.

A few years ago at the other 7/11, the one down on California Ave, a clerk was shot and killed by a man stealing cigarettes.  I never go there because there are a lot of bad ways to die but dying in a convenience store is something that should never happen to anyone.  No one's death should be that convenient. In the land of many things, I believe there are too many wants being met and not enough needs.