Thursday, March 10, 2016

I used to believe

I used to believe it was a choice
Like I believed it then

A choice I held in my hand 
Against the phone cold and dead

I used to believe I had it somewhere inside me to break through, 
if I only wanted to....

I see now it's not a choice
It's who I am

Skating across the blue 
It's who I will always be

Standing back watching the world 
Flipping frame by frame like the click of a Viewfinder

What I see is brilliant and deep

I can trace the sharp edges and never be cut
Collect the light and never be blinded

I used to believe this was a tiny box I chose to climb inside of

Now I believe inside is out and outside is in
I am not in the cage the world is

Drown in asphalt and cement
Jeweled in plastic and push

I used to believe that one day I would return to who I was before

Rejoin the fastness and the climb
But now I am free of that

Free to dream of flat desert fields of running antelope
To bath in dust fairies filtering in through noon's lights

To mingle with maternal myths 
And dine with ghosts

I used to believe
But I don't do that anymore.

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